Holly-days!

Ok so it has been ALMOST a month,  and I haven't touched a keyboard or thought a thought. I am going to try to keep up again. You bloggers, blow me out of the water! My blog has much improving to do. Today was tragic. I had no sleep last night and then after the 5 day weekend, HAD to drag myself to school. I sound bratty when I say the break wasn't long enough, but it is so hard to go back after that many days off! I had a superb weekend and ate lots of desserts. My apple pie "thingy" was a hit and they devoured it before I could say "hey save a piece for me ".  Ok and Christmas is seriously 26 days away or something close like that! WOW. But our family did put the tree up. No lights or ornaments yet, but this is a big step in the right direction! Tis the season my friends...

no picture needed.

Realization: I have nothing figured out and I like it that way. I have ME to look out for. That is it. No children, husband, or mortgage to pay. Why do I need to spend my time “trying to figure it all out”? I don’t want to figure it out anymore. I am going to let it be and come to me. I like having no strings attached. I am enjoying this moment, because you never know when it will change. These last couple of weeks and all the tragedy and lives lost, has made me think about the relationships that I do not want to lose. Tell someone that you haven’t in awhile, what they mean to you.

YOU can.

Realization: Good things happen to those who wait! Everything seems to me turning around for me. I just got a job offer, at Sapulpa Schools. YEAH, 1^st grade! And, my photography side “thing” is getting started!! I love taking pictures. It is such a fun hobby for me. Happy Tuesday ya’ll J

Jargon

Realization: because I am back to realizations for now. My friend and I were chatting and she gave me a something to write about. Using “foreign words” is so much more exciting. Replacing “our” bye, have a nice trip, and hello; with Chow, bon voyage, and aloha would make life a lot more fun. I think she just really wants a vacation! Nursing school, (any school) can make you feel that way. Foreigners, foreign words, and places are all very exciting in our minds until we travel there. It is a lot of fun to experience their culture and frolic on the beach, but you always want to go home. Which reminds me…I will leaving for a relaxing weekend in Broken Bow tomorrow and then next Friday, driving to Galveston to hop a boat and set sail for Mexico for five days. BIENVIENIDOS AMIGOS!

Photog

I am now official! I have a Facebook page that displays my photography…and I want you and anyone you know to get the word out! You can find me at B. Photography. If you are a friend of mine through FB, you can see the link on my wall. Go look at my pictures and then book a session…I am building a portfolio as we speak, so I will cut you a deal! All the info is on my page and you can message/comment or call me any time.

*On a different note, I have been trying to take a vitamin every day. Making this a habit is so hard. BUT I have remembered 3 straight days now, and I feel better than ever. I’d say this was a great idea on my part. Fall brings on so many cold/flu symptoms. I am over feeling like crap.

decisions, decisions, decisions

I have been failing my 7 readers…I am sorry. I need a new direction for my blog. I had initially started writing a realization every day, but that means I really have to think/pay attention every day to figure out what I learned. Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t always right in front of your face (realizations, I mean). And that means I would have to spend a good part of my 24 hours, thinking about what to write, because they don’t all come that easy. If you have any tips, suggestions, or thoughts as to where my blog should go, please post a comment. I would love to hear from you!

innovate. educate. create.

Dear paper and pencil. I have been neglecting you lately, but this keyboard is just so much more convenient. I am sorry. I will try better. I have been out of school for what…five months and I have forgotten how to add. Last night, I was trying to add up my tip and total line at the restaurant. For some reason, maybe due to the sangria or maybe just because I haven’t had practice lately, I could not figure up my grand total. After a couple counting on my fingers and in my head, tries…I finally came to the conclusion that I am useless. This is why adults, as they get older, lose their minds. They do not continue learning and USING what they learned. I don’t ever want to feel uneducated, like last night, ever again.

Greatness

The power of our words is overwhelming and incredible at the same time. I just finished a book called The Four Agreements, and in it talks about this idea. If we could speak impeccably all the time, every day, we would be fulfilled. Let me just say, for the record, that I tried the theory until someone pulled out in front of me this morning and almost crushed me and my car, the words weren’t so kind! This goes to show you how loosely we throw around statements and don’t even think about it. I am here to tell you that I need to slow down and really watch what I say.



Sometimes I don’t even realize that hateful things come out of my mouth for no reason. I should not be “this” worked up about anything really. I think I need to try deep breaths. If you ever get the chance to read this book…do it. I didn’t love his writing style, but the agreements that he believes makes all the difference really inspired me.Remember to think before you speak.

answer me this

Borrowed questionnaire…

I start the day… by hitting snooze 7 times (at least) until my alarm completely shuts off and then I wake up with 10 minutes to get ready and dirty hair? Every time! It’s exhausting…

Daily essential…Car time. AKA: “Me time”.

Dreaming about… the future. That is all I do…DREAM. It really makes me want to scream. I need action people, action.

Can’t stop…reading blogs. It’s so fun!

You won’t find me…sitting idle. I am always on the run. ALWAYS

My heart…is filled with love! I am one lucky chick.

Somewhere in my childhood…my parents taught me about life. I thank them both for teaching me right from wrong. You two are so influential. I am pretty proud of what I’ve become.

Life is…is supposed to be fun and I intend to keep it that way!! Cheers to Life :)

Think about your answers...

9 to 5...way to make a livin'

I miss college. I miss everything about it...even the homework! I'd rather be thinking about my future and working really hard towards it, then waking up every day and not getting to do it :( I ran into pictures the other day of my dorm room and Jen (BFF and roommate) and really just wanted to cry. I miss having so much to live for. I miss staying up all night, walking around campus at night, and all those late night runs to twenty something.

Within these next couple of weeks, I desperately need to make some changes. I need to move on and start something new! Every day office work is wearing me down and making me crazy!! I have some sessions scheduled this week to shoot some pictures and then some more later this month! So excited to start capturing moments again! Where did the weekend go? Hopefully Monday won't be terribly awful...

Happy Birthday Papa Bob!

Last day of September-what, what! Today is also my Papa’s Birthday and he is 60…something! I cannot even wrap my brain around being 60 something years old. What makes 60 years fly so fast (because he always says it went by too quickly)? So, I started thinking about my pretty lame interpretation of a “bucket list” that I created a few years ago, and I have only accomplished 2 of the bullet points. One was graduating from higher education, AKA: College! The other is… hush, hush; for now. Whether it’s 22 or 60 years, just live each day with your whole heart because I hear it flies by ;)

Beautiful

As I have gotten older, I notice different things I never used to care about. LIKE, the weather!  Can you believe the 60 degree Sunday?! I had to light my fall scented candle, wear a scarf, and open my bedroom window in honor of the day. So freakin excited!!! The fair is coming to town and I am really craving an Indian Taco, right about now—lots of sour cream, please! I am happy to say that I will be taste testing Thursday with my love A Money. I love my friends and my life. Couldn’t ask for a better kick off to October…Happy Tuesday!

thoughts...

…things that make me happy…




1. When TK says “I wanna hold your hand” and then breaks out into The Beatles’ most famous tune.

2. Seatbelt dancing.

3. Wearing scarves!! (Got to do this Sunday)

4. Opening my windows and actually smelling “air”. Thank you Autumn…

5. Christmas music, holla.

6. K-mart. Nuff said.

7. Nikki Minaj, just because she is pretty hardcore and I appreciate women rappers.

8. My iPod working correctly…you have no idea how bad my day CAN go.

9. Getting to know complete strangers through their words/pictures alone. (Blogs) It has become such a hobby of mine. I promise I am not creepy and I learn so many new ways of thinking.

10. Knowing I have a really great future ahead of me and I am so excited for it!



Bonus: Photography is such a great way I utilize my creativity and I really want to do something with it.



Think about the simple things that make you happy, maybe your Monday will bring a smile or two?

The easy button!

This weekend TK, Sara, and I went to see the new movie Easy A, which got me to thinking about high school peer pressures. If you haven’t seen the trailer, check it out. But, I will warn you that this movie was very raunchy in parts (most of the movie) and was about one topic! SEX. This hilarious film caught and kept everyone in that theaters attention and left us laughing even after it was over. But back to my first point, peer pressure. Today’s society’s views are certainly different than my grandparents and even different now than when I was in high school—although that wasn’t very long ago. My point is…what is going to be the next controversial topic? Now, the VMA’s do a great deal of uncomfortable talk and Chelsea Handler’s late night program is certainly no saint. But, I mean what is going to be socially acceptable in 10 years? What is going to be the pressures of the next generations’ kids? I suppose it will be the same struggles we have now, but just a little more high techy (I don’t think that is a word) and more complicated. Complicated only because there is no face time anymore! Everything is done through the internet, chat, or text. Does anyone really even have face-to-face relationships anymore?

Runway

Fall is upon us and so are all of the trends. Fall is that time that we transition from summer to winter with our wardrobe (my favorite). With this, comes lots of thrown together looks that you begin to see everywhere! I was in Target on Sunday and this woman had on jean shorts and a tank top with a sweater over it that she paired with riding boots—to the knee people. I am not complaining one bit, because I liked the look, but this is what you are going to start seeing: Summer on top/bottom and winter on the other 1/2 that is left. I think it is trendy and easy to use layers effectively and then throw on a pair of boots for comfort and warmth on chilly nights. But, to all of the girls out there that fit the above description; more power to you! Fashion is your own personal style. So, if you see anyone that looks cute or has a great idea (clothes wise), borrow it. Use it and wear it proud!




*Try second hand shops, Ross, and TJ Maxx. They also have some really great buys at the Salvation Army, if you aren’t opposed to going in there and digging around. I have found some really great “statement” pieces from all of the above for super cheap. Also, take advantage of “buying online”. Sometimes they have great incentives and free shipping when you purchase a certain amount. Check the ads every week and visit the stores that have the clearance or red tag mark downs! Can’t beat jeans for 5 bucks! :)

(I did really get a pair for 5 bucks).

People are People

“Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful”. I read this in an e-mail I received yesterday and now I can’t stop thinking about it. We have all put up with certain situations/people that we really wanted to get away from or really wanted to tell them how we have felt. That, to me, is the hardest thing in this life to do. I hate having to be brutally honest or say goodbye to people. Over the past few years, I have met some EXTRORDINARY people! You could say they’ve changed my life and my outlook on it.

This is what I’ve learned: SUPER SIX

1. Meet new people! They cannot judge you on anything you’ve done in the past because they don’t know better. They most usually, point out something great about you they’ve noticed-- that you’ve never heard. Total confidence booster…

2. If it makes you happy, do it! Let me elaborate on this one—a little. When I first read this, it sounded immature. If we all walked around doing whatever made us the happiest, well we’d be in trouble! All within reason people…you know what you should and shouldn’t be doing.

3. Stay out of it. Always, stay out of it! I mean business, personal, business…get the picture? Deal with you! Everyone else will be ok.

4. Be the shoulder for someone to cry on. Show compassion, all the time, every day.

5. Always tell the truth.

6. And lastly, but not least (ever) DANCE! I really mean dance!!!!!! Who cares who’s watching.

Check...1, 2, 3

My new found obsession. Ernie Halter...please check him out, for me! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lydiPtZ8voQ&feature=related this clip is of him singing the hit "Ain't No Sunshine" using the washer as his instrument. Brilliant. I love watching YouTube. I get inspiration from others' ideas, I laugh at others' videos, and I find new artists that I fall in love with. It makes me want to dabble in so many different things, because we all know we have more than one talent. Let's not forget about all the other things we can bring to the table...I am starting to take pictures again, speaking of. And I am also working on some side projects too. I am getting back into the creative groove I had lost. What inspires you?

Achoooo

This morning I was reminded (not very gently) of all the wonderful allergens that are lurking in the air. YUCK! My eyes are swollen shut almost…and my throat, ears, and nose are congested. My head feels about as big as a balloon right before it pops and I for one, cannot function like this. I really hate the changing seasons because it brings on a whole new box of problems for me. I really appreciate Kleenex around this time of year and those delicious Ricola-Honey Lemon cough drops. Thank you cough and cold aisle!

I am going to dope on Vitamin C, orange juice, and Day Quil—so if my words are not making sense, you’ll know why.

Count your pennies!

I have been budgeting…which I previously blogged about, and I am really getting into it. I just may open up my own personal assisting/professional budgeting business (I know a few people that could use my services) and start saving people money. Saving doesn’t always have to mean sacrifice. It just means change. Becoming more responsible and savvy with your cash is all it takes! When is the last time you added up how much you spend monthly on “random” buys? It had been a long time for me but I was forced to take a look at it. Boy was I spending money excessively or what!

I am now on a “plan”. Some of it stolen from Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace book and if you have ever heard of this genius, you know what I am talking about when I say “Emergency Fund”. By the way, this is my first piece of advice. No matter how much or little you are making, set up a savings account and start putting a percentage or amount in every month. I take out a set amount every 2 weeks when I get paid and I now have a chunk of hefty change in my account for any emergency that may happen. He suggests keeping 1,000 dollars in as your “cushion” so that is what I will suggest to you.

Second piece of advice is to pay off those credit cards and throw them away. It is time to start living within your means. No more swiping the card if you don’t have the actual cash to pay for it. That is financially wrong and you are lying to yourself. I can understand having one card if you are building your credit and then paying it off at the end of every month—but you must promise to pay it off. Make a list of all your essential bills (things you must have) and those are the 1st to get paid every month. Then you must divvy up the remainder.

Lastly, if you are making enough and are able to…pretend you have a car payment even if you don’t. This is for all the ones who desperately need a newer vehicle! I will not buy a car without having the cash for it so making a “fake” payment will get me to that goal!

Happy Weekend!

Bloom

So I have signed up to receive e-mails from “Groupon” of Tulsa-if you’ve never heard of it check it out http://www.groupon.com/tulsa/. Every day they send a new coupon to a hot spot in our city. For a week or so, I have been sent “personal trainer” coupons. Tulsa! Are you trying to tell me something? I think I should take the hint and get to the gym or find a trail to walk.

Meanwhile…Jordan (co-worker) brought me 2 flowers off her bouquet she received for her birthday! They brightened my day and they are such a fun accessory to my cluttered desk, plus they smell great. I would like to take this opportunity to express my LOVE of flowers. I do not care if they die in a week, or if they are cliché. I will always enjoy receiving them and picking them and admiring them. There I said it. I think it is the kindest gesture out there (besides greeting cards) and should be done every once in a while to show that you are thinking about someone special.

Brain means Power

Realization # 10: When other people tell you their opinions, it changes yours…at least a little. I work in an office and let me tell you how many times a day I hear gossip. I can admit to speaking about another person or something I have heard with my closet friends (yes, I have friends at work). But the point in my writing this is because I have realized something. After hearing what person A did to person B, I become slightly turned off to them. Even if I don’t know if it’s true or if person B deserved it, my opinion or “view” of that person A has changed all because someone told me some “information”. I don’t want this to be the case. Words are so powerful and it makes me angry when minds are skewed in such a way. Especially my mind-I should have control over it. That is the only thing I deserve to have control over. Me. When someone comes in and changes that or takes that away from me, shame on me. This has been my problem. Everyone, knew what was best for me! How can anyone know what is best for me? I know what’s best for me! I let everyone’s thoughts control my actions. I just took control again of my body again and it I feel so normal. I should be a therapist. Just sayin’...

Admit One

Today’s weather has been fantastic! I wore a sweater, my 1st one this season, and sat outside for lunch on the patio of a restaurant. It feels like fall more and more to me. My mom and I’s whole conversation—basically—was about football, homecoming plans, and school spirit. The one thing that this conversation brought to my attention was that I really miss being on campus. Stillwater would be booming right now with parents, student, alumni, and faculty all dressed in orange from head to toe. I guess my future Fridays in Tulsa could mimic that same scenario….I’ll start my own tradition. I have no problem with that. I was looking up Bedlam tickets today and to my surprise they have a great “Ticket exchange” program. For season ticket holders that cannot make a game or for anyone that wants to buy/sell OSU football seats, you are able to get on the website and purchase them. It goes through the Okstate website so they must be safe to purchase…I think? I will keep you posted.

On a side note—I am going Garage Sale-ing tomorrow! Happy shopping.

Pigskin

Brandon Weeden ----------------------->

Well if you are out of the loop, he is Okstate’s newest QB for this starting season!! Why the exclamation? Well because I am so excited for football, BBQ’s, cute boys in jerseys, and shouting touchdown! Not only that, but he seems pretty legit. He has a (sort of ) boy next door look going for him, that I pretty much DIG! The season is here and it is very near and dear to my heart. College football is where you find the heart and soul of this sport. Forget NFL…they don’t impress me and they are getting paid to frolick around on the “fake” green turf. BIG, BIG bucks that our country-for one-could use. I am on my soap box so I will step down…but just remember, whatever team you’re into, wear it loud and proud! Are you ready for some football?

Cup of Sunshine

This morning a co-worker, that I see every day, (love her) actually, walked up to me and said good morning! I said that very same greeting and added a huge smile, because that is what she makes me do. Smile. Her eyes filled up with tears and I asked if she was ok…she ran over and gave me a huge hug and said: You fill up a room. Immediately I thought—“girl that better not be a fat joke.” I asked her what she meant and she said: You have this presence about you and you make it brighter in here. I just had to give you a hug! As she walked away, I couldn’t stop smiling…because after everything I have complained about on here and about “losing” myself and blah, blah, blah…Today is my day. I’ve returned to my normal self. The one that is happy go lucky, and smiling, and singing, and most of all compassionate towards others. I guess it is written all over my face or something because people are noticing. So to that I say bye-bye to Bad Mood Betsy and hello to Bright Brittany. I’m shining people, I am shining!

Pardon you!

People are way to outspoken sometimes. Just shut your mouth and mind your own freaking business. I hate working in an office setting because you hear things you don't want to hear and people hear things you try to keep quiet. Where did my privacy go? Not behind that cube wall--oh wait! I don't even have a wall, I have a table. Where did everyone's manners go, out their mouth with all their opinions...I think. Sometimes I just want to take my hand and slap them a new one. Whew that felt good. One piece of advice-cube or not; please keep your opinions, thoughts, and words to yourself unless otherwise asked for. This doesn't just stay in the office...this goes beyond the building. Life is hard. It hurts, knocks you down, breaks your heart, and we are all trying really hard to catch a break. I don't need someone to tell me how to feel, what to say, or who to thank. I am woman. I am an adult and I deserve to be respected (I will give it in return). Please and Thank You.

Plan-less..if that is even a word.

More often than not, things don't turn out the way you planned. You can plan out your life, plan out your month, or even your day and something always ends up changing. It's inevitable. Well I queen of planning, always had an agenda. I have had a plan for everything since I was in junior high. I did everything right. I finished school , got the scholarship, went to the college of my dreams, met some incredible people, majored in the area I had always been interested in, and graduated with a great GPA and hope for the future! Where do I stand? Now, I am plan-less. It seems funny sometimes when I think about myself and what I should be doing that I am not doing. I don't know where I lost my "plans" for the after college life, but something must be done. I always feel better when I have goals to reach and things to look forward to. I guess in junior high, that stopped at college graduation. But, now that I am a college graduate, I need something else to look forward to. So I am going to devise a plan of attack. Starting with saving money for a car. I need a purposeful budget plan. Bullet is going to fall apart. While I am doing this, I also need to be working on mending my relationships with certain people. I used to feel so carefree and alive, and it is probably just part of the growing up process, but I feel lifeless inside sometimes and that is never going to be ok with me! I have too much going for me and have come too far to let situations drag me down. So as I am working on my budget and mending my heart....what will you be working on?

Eat. Pray. Love

This movie was so eye-opening and got me thinking about my struggles compared to other womens’ struggles. What I have concluded is that we all cry about that same relationship. We all laugh about that same joke…and we all (most certainly) gripe about that last hundred calories we ate. But, Liz (Julia Roberts) said—just eat your pizza…then go buy bigger pants. Her point in this statement was that she, (Liz) had lost her “appetite” for life and she was not going to let the worry of gaining a few pounds stop her from enjoying her little slice of heaven! I believe this is the same mentality we should take on for a few weeks and try to “find ourselves” again. Do whatever makes YOU happy. Go wherever you feel like going. Take a nap, eat a cookie or three, wear your hair down-just take a step back and look at the life you lead. Is it where you wanted to be? Do the people around you feel your love for them? Are you really living…




I know this is a lot to consume in one blog post…and this is the way my brain thinks at all times. So I, for one, am going to stop over-thinking, analyzing, and doing, and start slowing down. Create a goal for yourself and follow through this week. "Just Do It."

Unwanted thoughts

Realization #9: In the words of Eminem (white, bad boy , rapper) "I'm cleaning out my closet." This is a synonym for my life right now. Although I literally cleaned my closet out last night. I thought if I actually did what I said I was going to do, I would get some sense of pride. I had been telling myself I was going to go through some old stuff and start fresh. Well...I am still left with the same stuff I started with (minus 60 items and a big black trash bag full of junk) but it is LESS junk and easier to manage. I think this is how I should start picturing my brain. I pile, toss, cram, and stuff things into my head all day, every day. Especially these last four years, which I will miss. But now, I have no class to attend, no presentations to give, no paper to write, and no tests to study for. So what does my brain do now? I'll tell you what it did do...it crashed. I blame not having to use it lately. But whatever the case may be, it went crazy. Thoughts were running through my head, and I mean crazy thoughts. I was usually pissed and just plain ridiculous. Last night, as I was ripping things off my shelves and throwing them into a pile I was thinking to myself...this is what my brain needs. A recycle bin. Kind of like on this computer. When you want to delete something it goes right into the bin. Well that is where these distracting thoughts, feelings, and nagativeNESS is going. Less junk. Easier to manage.

Land of the Free...Home of the ____??

Realization #8: You MUST know someone to get ahead. And even sometimes that doesn’t help. I don’t understand the point of getting somewhere using your own two feet if that option doesn’t exist anymore. What happened to getting a job just because you were qualified to do it... or, getting into a doctor’s office just because you were a paying customer? Now everyone needs a favor. What are you going to do for me/If I do something for you? I am fed up! Ok, no one owes you anything. If you can’t figure something out for yourself then that is TOO bad for you. Never in a million years did I think I’d see the day where I was giving up on things I used to think were important, because “fairness and equality” no longer exist. There was a reason to declare our independence. Can we uphold that America?

Boys of fall...

Push on. Well, that is going on a post it! After today was all said and done, I can honestly say I am so proud of myself (for lots of reasons, but mostly because I have learned to control my emotions). Jen and I were talking earlier about how “sucky” and unfair life can be at times. You get bad news and it feels like someone just threw you down on the ground. While you’re down…you get more bad news and it is like a 2nd party has come in and smashed your pretty little face with their boot. Hard. I am surprisingly ok with the “bad” news I have come across today. It seems to have upset everyone else that had been pulling for me a lot more than it did me. I am taking a time out to say THANK YOU to all my close friends/family that have supported me through this craziness. I love you all :)


Side note: So ready for Football!!!!!!!!!

Post it.

I have a great idea, well a stolen idea, but an idea anyway. I am going to start writing really great things about myself on post-its reminding me to follow through...and then "post" them in places I see or visit often. Example: the one I made (literally 8 minutes ago) says "show the world your creativity." And since I haven't--lately--been able to create anything, I need a reminder. I feel robotic most days. It is the routine I have gotten myself into lately...and I want out! I am actually kicking and screaming my way out. My spirit is kinda broken----and so here goes the idea of believeing in myself. Believing  I can do antyhing, because I really can. Believing I have really great things to show the world, because I really do. Putting them on my bathroom mirror, steering wheel, jewelry box, and my wallet would be the best options. Wait! That sounds funny. Not that I spend most of my time looking at myself, driving, accessorizing, and spending money...but it is where I find myself the most often (weird now that I think about it). I challenge you to do the same thing and remembering that your happiness is everything. Major shout out to Elle, for reminding me that whining is NOT sexy. Oh and that I am a badass. A badass that is gonna be reminded everyday, thanks to her colored post-it-notes.

Reasoning

Realization # 7: Don’t sweat the small stuff…or the big stuff (I guess). I wish I could wrap my brain around that little “things happen for a reason” mentality. I am just not convinced that it does. I mean there are little things, indeed, that happen everyday that are for a reason but don’t you make those kinds of decisions? Some people want to go to school and just don’t have the money so they have to have 13 jobs to make ends meet? Tell me how that is fair or what the reason is behind it? Or why people die of cancer in a matter of days because they never knew about it? All of this “happening for a reason” is bogus to me. You work hard, and you get what you get. When you finally have it, you deal with it. You do the best you can or you change it. I am a believer in reality and the truth. Don’t get me wrong, God is up there looking down on me right now, probably saying, or trying to say, something inspirational to get me through this. I just don’t know what it is yet…I guess it is probably “Brittany, things are happening for a reason.”

4 thoughts...

As of right now, I do not or have not had a realization. So I am just going to spill my guts on paper. 1. Where is October? I don’t think it could get here fast enough. I started thinking about the fall weather as I was trying to curl my hair. My lifeless hair. I am trying to get it to do something awesome, instead it looks like a fluffy mess. I hope the lady I am meeting with today will understand my situation. I know she is going to be looking right at my hair the whole time and probably not focusing on what I have to say. I understand though—there is something appealing about weird crazy hair especially on someone you’ve never met. 2. While I am writing this I am listening to random rap songs. I don’t want to admit this, but there is something really consuming about them. Rap is the only genre of music that gets a lot of criticism daily. The lyrics, the writers, and the lifestyles "they" (Lil’ Wayne) promote…but you know what? They are doing their thing, and I like it. Listen if you dare :) 3. The Bachelor is coming out with a “new” show (not really that new of a concept) that will have past rejected contestants on ABC to “fight”AKA- lie, to win 250,000 dollars. During this process, they are allowed to hook up with each other and try to find love. Now, if you begin watching this, do solemnly swear that you will not try any of this kind of behavior in your own life. Please. What you see on TV, should stay on TV. 4. When life throws you an opportunity, go and do it…but, only if it is thrown.

Nothing is "free"

Realization #6: I understand wanting to save money...what about saving your sanity? Tax Free weekend or whatever is really the biggest rip off there is. Let me explain myself. Ok so you get out in this torn up town we call Tulsa due to construction on every road bypassing orange barrels and signs for miles, and then you come to the beloved store it took you 40 minutes to get to. You cannot find a freakin' parking spot so you drive around and round in circles until something opens up 5.4 miles away. You go in, fight the crowds of people and search through destroyed aisles, racks, and tables for your size of something that is on sale. What you really don't know is that the store had marked the prices up before this "special" weekend so you end of paying the same amount you would on any other day. You can't find your size and just start to get aggravated so you begin picking things up for other people, just wanting to get that deal! Once you get up to the counter, the woman says that'll be 76.94 with tax. You are thinking...what! I came to this store to get a deal and I end up spending 77 dollars tax included? The lady slowly replies back, trying not to piss you off, ma'am our store isn't participating in the tax free promotion. You really just want to hit her right in the face and say "you should've had a sign!" So you either (like me) buy the crap anyway because you are already there or you say to yourself-screw this. Walk away from the store and cry in the car all the way back to your house. With that being said, I leave you with this...there are only two emotions on Tax Free days. Pissed or so pissed you want to cry. My sanity has been taunted with and tested these last couple of years...I blame college. And my point is that I have realized it is to sacred to go messing around with. Let me save you the heartache and hard emotion and tell you to just skip shopping this weekend. Your family, children, and facebook will appreciate it.

Don't be a let down

Realization #5: People will dissapoint you. I mean all people. Even ones that are really close to you. Even if you never tell them outloud that they did, it's still dissapointment. I think that it's the worst feeling to be be let down by someone you really love...and I am gonna start paying close attention to my actions towards others. After I started writing this blog, I began paying a lot more attention to my life. Having to write about something I learn everyday makes me want to experience something great daily (or I will have nothing to write about). Speaking of something great...I will be lending a hand at the food Bank of Oklahoma today. Packing boxes of food for the hungry families around Tulsa is something great to me. I don't know if it is just me, but volunteering is a passion. I cannot describe to you how it makes me feel to know I did something to help in someone's life. It is never as big as donating millions of dollars to cancer, or supplying a nation with water that were thirsty, but when a mom can cook her children a meal at home, or a couple sweeps the tile floor in their new home built by H4H, I was a part of that. My advice to you is if you never have, get involved in one of the organizations in your area and do something "small" to help. Hey! School is even starting, go donate some supplies to a local school or classroom, the teachers will appreciate it! Believe me. Don't dissapoint me now, because as I said at the beginning of this post...it is the worst feeling to be let down.

Happy isn't the word for it :)

Realization #4: Creating an outlet to express my anger is the best idea I've ever followed through with. Keeping up with this blog/writing is a stress reliever. Well, my stress level really cannot compare to some, but I am tense. Not today though...guess what happened?!?!?! I got a call to interview Monday. Now for the sake of everything good, I am going to keep this under wraps until I am hired or have decided to take that next step. I do not want to jenks it. I got the call today (3rd day of positive thinking) while at work and silently screamed in shock. It isn't like I could stand up in my chair, but I felt like pulling a Tom Cruise and pretending I was on Oprah. So what else to do but call my momma, my close friends, and run over to the other side of the office and high-five my co-workers who have been patiently listening to me gripe all summer. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face and it is just now... starting to slowly fade. Not because I am unhappy, just because I do not think I can smile for another minute or my face may break. I can use computer emotions : ) My parents took me out for a celebratory dinner which consisted of a huge chicken sandwich and a peach/strawberry sangria...courtesy of Outback Steakhouse. As I sat there sipping my wine (essentially), I thought to myself "Yeah, I am blessed."

O is for organization

Realization #2: Organization is so important. Like so important, that if that is all you could say you offered, I’d be content with that. If you are ever asked to describe yourself in one word, use organized. Just my advice…but I think most of my advice should be quoted and hung in the “told you so” hall of fame. I am great at giving advice (my own opinion), but somehow I don’t or I really should say “haven’t” used my own advice in awhile. But I don’t need my own advice…I have Francesca Battestelli’s (singer/songwriter whom I adore). One of her songs goes something like this: “I’m letting go of the life I planned for me and my dreams, losing control of my destiny, it feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe so I’m letting go.” Being the lover of song and just really thinking lyrics know best, I have decided to fully let go of the life I had planned for me. I am letting go and letting GOD! Tonight, I felt pretty proud of the huge step I took. Huge for me…ok? I have revamped my Resume and feel like this new typed up piece of paper is going to land me a job! Do you see how positive I am being? I don’t really feel like begging for a job that makes 28,000 a year. No thanks…not for me. Sounds bratty, but let’s not forget how much I spent on that education. Or I will just inform you. $40 grand…out of pocket…a few scholarships but nothing to oooo and ahhh about. They could’ve done better. So, I am going to move on until it is my time to shine…oh wait…what am I saying? I shine all the time! And so my point or “realization” today about being organized and how it is so very important has come from sitting down and re-creating my resume again. Reading all of the things I have accomplished, have done, and aspire to be, is a confidence booster and all due to being organized! I look good on paper. Paper, that is nicely formatted and contains bullets for easy reading.

Problem = Me

Realization #1: I just realized today, and by that I mean…saying it out loud (literally out loud), that I am my own problem. As I sit in my air conditioned room writing my poor, poor story on my laptop, I think ha! I am such a loser. I complain about a lot of things, to the people I love the most, but I really have nothing to complain about. I remember back in college when “The Secret” became popular…Ya know that book that Oprah had on her book list that everyone went out and bought (which is a whole other issue of mine) and claimed incredibly life changing? Yea, I can admit the premise was appealing so I wanted to test it out. The author claimed that when you start thinking positively about things that come up in your life or lack there of…you reap the benefits. So, I thought what do I really have to lose besides my bad attitude?



For 1 whole week people, I thought the most positive thoughts I could. I wished well upon people and I can tell you in all seriousness, that the things that happened that week (although small) made me happy. I felt very inspired. Two years later, I don’t know where that thought process went to…probably out back with my give a shit and gratitude...with this being said, I will be tapping into this “secret” philosophy once more. I don’t have the energy or any more excuses to be pissed.



I am proclaiming to you and to God and to all people interested, as of August 3, 2010…I Brittany Sellers, will be acting my age. No more negativity, well because It didn’t get me anywhere. In the last year or so in the stress of becoming the adult I’ve always wanted to be, I lost what I stood for. I am not this person and I don’t like being around me anymore.

Freakin Out

So, I’ve been told, mainly by a family member, one single family member, that I should begin a blog or place to tell my story aka: struggle. Here goes nothing…being from a small town always seems to produce BIG dreams! Or so say the movies. I actually, as cliché as it seems, had a big dream! Not big in the financial area, not big in the impossible area, just a plan. A big plan that I’ve always wanted to work out and that I thought would always work out. To my surprise, plans are just a starting point. College was the first thing on the “To Do” list. And well…I graduated. That is all there is to say about that. Yes, I enjoyed every minute of it, I made some great friends, and wouldn’t change that experience for anything. May 8, 2010 was the best day of my life. I literally cannot describe to you how happy I was, because it might make you gag. It was just part of my “dream” coming true. I don’t know if I thought I would be parading around with a stamp on my forehead that said COLLEGE GRAD and everyone would be offering me jobs left and right, but no one cares if you graduated college. I spent my whole life wanting to get to college, graduate, and get that beloved teaching job? Thinking teaching jobs would never be in danger, because there are always children that must be taught right? Wrong. I got a slap in the face my senior year when I began my job search in March…still searching, calling, applying, calling, applying, begging, and there is no call backs, no positive feedback, no nothing. So my point for writing all of this is to really just let my frustration out. I am fed up with the economy (not just for me, but for everyone that is in my position), and I am constantly in a bad mood. I cannot blame anybody but myself, and if anything positive comes out of this, I hope it is a smile. I am tired of feeling like an emotional freak everyday.