Freakin Out

So, I’ve been told, mainly by a family member, one single family member, that I should begin a blog or place to tell my story aka: struggle. Here goes nothing…being from a small town always seems to produce BIG dreams! Or so say the movies. I actually, as cliché as it seems, had a big dream! Not big in the financial area, not big in the impossible area, just a plan. A big plan that I’ve always wanted to work out and that I thought would always work out. To my surprise, plans are just a starting point. College was the first thing on the “To Do” list. And well…I graduated. That is all there is to say about that. Yes, I enjoyed every minute of it, I made some great friends, and wouldn’t change that experience for anything. May 8, 2010 was the best day of my life. I literally cannot describe to you how happy I was, because it might make you gag. It was just part of my “dream” coming true. I don’t know if I thought I would be parading around with a stamp on my forehead that said COLLEGE GRAD and everyone would be offering me jobs left and right, but no one cares if you graduated college. I spent my whole life wanting to get to college, graduate, and get that beloved teaching job? Thinking teaching jobs would never be in danger, because there are always children that must be taught right? Wrong. I got a slap in the face my senior year when I began my job search in March…still searching, calling, applying, calling, applying, begging, and there is no call backs, no positive feedback, no nothing. So my point for writing all of this is to really just let my frustration out. I am fed up with the economy (not just for me, but for everyone that is in my position), and I am constantly in a bad mood. I cannot blame anybody but myself, and if anything positive comes out of this, I hope it is a smile. I am tired of feeling like an emotional freak everyday.